"It is not
surprising that husbands and wives seem so little part of one another. It is
surprising that there is so much love as there is. For there is no food for it.
What does it live upon - what nourishes it? Husbands and wives never seem to have
anything to say to one another. What do they talk about? Not about any great
religious, social, political questions or feelings. They talk about who shall
come to dinner, who is to live in this lodge and who in that, about the
improvement of the place, or when they shall go to London ... But any real
communion between husband and wife - any descending into the depths of their
being, and drawing out thence what they find and comparing it - do we ever dream
of such a thing? Yes, we may dream of it during the season of 'passion', but we
shall not find it afterwards. We even expect it to go off, and lay our account
that it will. If the husband has, by chance, gone into the depths of his being,
and found there anything unorthodox, he, oftenest, conceals it carefully from
his wife, - he is afraid of 'unsettling her opinions'."
Cassandra
(1852), Florence Nightingale - in: The Book of the Dead - Lives of the Justly Famous and the Undeservedly Obscure, John Lloyd & John Mitchinson
Has it really changed that much in 160 years?
No comments:
Post a Comment